The Me Before Balance Found Me

If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and wondered “who is this woman staring back at me?” tired, stretched thin, yet still pushing through, then you’ll understand this story. Because before balance found me, I was that woman.

I’m writing this not just as Abby, your sister and friend in this journey of womanhood, but as someone who once thought balance was a luxury meant for “other women.” The ones who seemed to have it all together, smiling with their perfect planners, sipping green smoothies while typing effortlessly on their laptops. Me? I was running on caffeine, guilt, and sheer willpower.

Today, I want to take you back to that version of me, the before. The me that existed before balance found me. Because it’s only in telling that truth that I can help you see how possible it is to rewrite your own story too.

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The Version of Me That Lived in Overdrive

Let’s be honest, for many women, “busy” is our badge of honor. Before balance found me, I wore that badge proudly.

I said yes when I should’ve said no.
I stayed up late, waking up exhausted the next day.
I poured into everyone else but left nothing for myself.

I thought that being “always available” was proof of love, proof of strength, proof that I could keep it all together. What I didn’t realize was that I was quietly breaking inside.

There was a season when my phone dictated my life. Emails first thing in the morning, messages late into the night, and no separation between work and home. Dinner was rushed, conversations were shallow, and laughter was rare. I was existing, not living.

And then came the guilt, guilt for missing out on family moments, guilt for not being fully present at work, guilt for not even recognizing the woman in the mirror.

The Day It All Caught Up With Me

One night, after yet another long day, I sat on the edge of my bed and just… cried. It wasn’t one big dramatic breakdown. It was a slow unraveling of all the little things I had been ignoring.

That was the moment I realized: I couldn’t keep living this way. I was running so fast that I was missing my life.

And maybe, as you read this, you recognize that same exhaustion in yourself. Maybe balance feels far away for you too. But let me tell you something, the turning point begins with that awareness. For me, it was the night I admitted: “I cannot do it all, not like this.”

Balance Didn’t Find Me Overnight

I wish I could tell you that from that day forward everything changed instantly. But balance is not a one-time decision; it’s a daily practice.

Before balance found me, I thought it meant a perfect 50/50 split of work and home. That’s not real life. What I’ve learned is that balance is about alignment, not perfection. It’s about choosing what matters most in each moment and letting go of the pressure to “do it all.”

I began with small steps:

Setting boundaries with work hours.
Prioritizing rest as much as productivity.
Saying no without guilt.
Making room for things that filled me, reading, journaling, long walks.

It wasn’t about doing less; it was about doing what mattered.

Who I Was Before Balance

When I look back at the Abby before balance, here’s what I see:

A woman who looked strong on the outside but was silently crumbling.
A woman who mistook busyness for purpose.
A woman who loved deeply but forgot to love herself.

And maybe this resonates with you. Maybe you’ve been showing up for everyone but yourself. Maybe you’ve been equating sacrifice with worth. Maybe, like me, you’ve been holding your breath waiting for “someday” to finally breathe.

That was me before balance found me.

Who I Became After Balance

Now let me tell you who I am today, because balance did find me, slowly, faithfully, and with grace.

Today, I am:

A woman who knows her worth is not tied to productivity.
A woman who sets intentional rhythms for her life.
A woman who enjoys her mornings, her coffee, her laughter.
A woman who is present, truly present, with her family, her work, and herself.

Balance didn’t erase challenges. But it gave me clarity. It taught me that living well is not about doing more; it’s about living aligned with my values.

What Helped Me Find Balance

Because I know you’ll ask, let me share a few practices that transformed me:

1. Morning Stillness
Before balance, my mornings were rushed chaos. Now, I start my day with stillness. Sometimes it’s journaling, sometimes prayer, sometimes simply sitting with my coffee. It sets the tone for everything else.

2. Boundaries With Love
Balance requires boundaries. I learned to close the laptop at a certain hour, to silence notifications during family time, to protect my weekends like sacred ground. Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re bridges to peace.

3. Prioritizing Energy, Not Time
Before, I managed time like a machine. Now, I manage energy. I ask myself: “What deserves my best energy today?” and I give myself permission to leave the rest.

4. The Power of Saying No
Every “yes” is a “no” to something else. Learning to say no with grace was the most freeing shift in my life.

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The Ripple Effect of Balance

When balance found me, everything changed:

My relationships deepened.
My creativity returned.
My health improved.
My joy became contagious.

People around me noticed. “Abby, you seem lighter.” And it wasn’t because life got easier; it was because I chose to live differently.

Why I’m Sharing This With You

Sisters, I’m sharing this story because I know so many of you are in that before stage. You’re overworked, overstretched, and overwhelmed. But please hear me: balance is possible for you too.

You don’t need to wait for a breakdown. You don’t need to earn permission to rest. You don’t need to keep proving yourself.

Balance is not a gift given to some women and withheld from others. Balance is a practice, a choice, a journey.

Final Words: The Me Before, and The Me Now

Before balance, I was running on empty. Today, I am living with intention, joy, and grace. And if there’s one message I want you to take from this, it’s this:

If balance could find me, it can find you too.

Start small. Breathe deeper. Choose alignment over perfection. And watch how your life begins to shift.

Because one day soon, you’ll look back at the “before you,” the exhausted, overextended version, and you’ll smile with gratitude at how far you’ve come.