3 Lessons Struggle Taught Me About Strength

Sisters, let’s talk about something we all know too well: struggle.

I don’t care how polished someone’s Instagram feed looks, how successful they appear, or how calm they sound. Everyone, at some point, has walked through their own valley. And if you’re anything like me, you know those valleys don’t just test us; they shape us.

For years, I thought strength was about holding everything together without showing cracks. I thought it meant being unshakable, unbothered, unbreakable. But life, through heartbreak, failure, exhaustion, and starting over, taught me otherwise.

Struggle became my teacher. And while I didn’t sign up for the lessons, I now see that they were necessary. They didn’t just build my resilience; they revealed it.

Today, I want to share with you the 3 lessons struggle taught me about strength, lessons that transformed the way I live, love, and lead.

So, let’s dive in.

Lesson 1: True Strength is Not About Doing It All Alone

I used to believe the lie that independence equaled strength. That to prove myself as a woman, I had to carry everything without asking for help.

I was juggling career, motherhood, relationships, and my personal dreams, burning myself out while smiling for the world. I wore exhaustion like a crown. But deep down, I was crumbling.

Here’s what struggle showed me: real strength is not about isolation; it’s about interdependence.

When I hit my breaking point, I finally reached out. I allowed myself to lean on friends, accept help from family, and share burdens with my partner. And in doing so, I realized asking for help didn’t make me weaker; it made me wiser.

What this means for you:

Stop believing you have to “do it all” to prove your worth.
Build your village: friends, mentors, family, even coaches who can support you.
Remember, strength is not carrying the weight alone; it’s knowing when to share it.

Sis, strength is not silence. Strength is saying, “I need help.”

Lesson 2: Strength is Born in the Waiting, Not the Winning

If you’ve ever sat in a season of waiting, waiting for a breakthrough, a new job, healing, love, or even clarity, you know how hard it can be.

I used to despise those seasons. I wanted quick fixes and instant results. But life has a way of slowing us down when we least expect it.

For me, waiting seasons often felt like punishment. But over time, I learned they were preparation. The waiting stretched me, refined me, and humbled me.

Because here’s the truth: strength is not proven in moments of victory; it’s built in moments of patience.

When you’re in the waiting, you learn to trust, to persevere, and to discover who you are without the applause. That kind of strength doesn’t fade when circumstances change; it stays with you.

What this means for you:

If you’re in a waiting season, don’t despise it. Ask, “What is this season teaching me?”
Use the time to heal, grow, and prepare for the opportunities ahead.
Trust that strength is not about speed, but about staying power.

Sis, the waiting may feel heavy, but it’s where your roots grow deep.

Lesson 3: Strength is Choosing Grace Over Perfection

For years, I measured strength by how perfectly I could execute everything, work projects, parenting, relationships, even self-care. If I messed up, I felt like I had failed.

But then came the struggles that no amount of perfection could fix, unexpected disappointments, losses, and moments when life just fell apart. That’s when I realized: strength isn’t about flawless performance. It’s about grace.

Grace for yourself when you don’t get it right. Grace to rest when you’re tired. Grace to begin again after you’ve fallen.

When I embraced grace, I discovered a new kind of strength, the kind that doesn’t shatter under pressure because it allows space for mistakes, learning, and growth.

What this means for you:

Release the need to have it all together.
Replace perfection with progress.
Speak kindly to yourself, especially in your lowest moments.

Sis, grace is strength wrapped in softness. And it’s what will carry you further than perfection ever could.

Why These Lessons Matter

You may be wondering why I’m sharing all this so openly. It’s because I know how isolating struggle can feel. But if my journey has taught me anything, it’s that none of us are alone in it.

Strength is not about pretending you’re unbreakable. It’s about embracing the lessons that come with being human. And when you do, you’ll see that your struggle has been shaping you for something greater all along.

Practical Ways to Apply These Lessons

Let’s get practical, sisters. Here are some ways to live out these lessons daily:

To Stop Doing It Alone:
Make a list of tasks you can delegate at home, at work, or in your personal life.
Ask one person this week for help, no matter how small.

To Embrace the Waiting:
Start journaling during waiting seasons. Write your fears, but also your hopes.
Create routines that keep you grounded, morning affirmations, prayer, or mindfulness.

To Choose Grace Over Perfection:
Replace negative self-talk with affirmations like, “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.”
Celebrate small wins instead of waiting for big milestones.
Practice saying “no” without guilt.

These small, intentional steps help transform the lessons into lasting strength.

My Closing Reflections

Struggle will come. That’s a guarantee. But the beautiful truth is that it doesn’t leave us empty; it leaves us equipped.

Through my hardest seasons, I discovered strength I didn’t know I had. And you, too, are stronger than you think.

Remember these three lessons:
Strength is not doing it all alone.
Strength is built in waiting, not winning.
Strength is choosing grace over perfection.

Carry them with you, especially on the hard days. Let them remind you that your struggles are not wasted; they are shaping the woman you’re becoming.

And as I always say to my community: If I could rise after my struggles, so can you.